Memorial Day often signals the unofficial start of summer. Families gather for cookouts, neighborhoods fill with the sounds of celebrations, and many Americans take advantage of a long weekend spent with the people they love.

For the surviving families of our nation’s heroes, Memorial Day carries something deeper. It is a day of remembrance. A day that serves as a reminder that freedom came at a cost, and that behind every sacrifice is a family forever changed.

For Michele Davis Kostedt, Memorial Day is filled with both pride and grief.

Michele’s husband, First Lieutenant Jason W. Davis of the United States Air Force, was killed during an aircraft accident at Pensacola Naval Air Station while training for his navigator wings. He was only 28 years old.

First Lieutenant Jason Davis, 2004

Before Jason’s death, Michele remembers a life filled with adventure, laughter, faith, and a deep love for family. Jason loved mountain biking, hiking, wakeboarding, camping, Harley rides, and anything that brought people together. He had an unforgettable crooked smile, a garage full of tools, and a habit of going “all in” on every hobby he picked up.

More than anything, Michele remembers the way Jason loved her and their 16-month-old son, Drew.

Jason and Drew, 2004

“He truly changed the trajectory of my life,” Michele shared, “Before I met him, I was shy, focused on school, and lived in a much smaller world. Jason opened my world to adventure, courage, travel, and trying new things.”

That life changed instantly the day Jason left for what should have been a normal training exercise.

“I never imagined I would be told he was gone,” Michele remembered, “There was the agonizing waiting period before the wreckage was found and we received confirmation that all four on board had been killed. The uncertainty was incredibly traumatic.”

In the weeks and months that followed, grief touched every part of daily life. Michele suddenly found herself navigating motherhood, loss, and an uncertain future all at once.

“My immediate thoughts were, ‘How am I supposed to survive one day without him, much less a lifetime,’” she said, “How was I going to raise our little boy alone?’”

Like many surviving families, Michele learned that grief does not move in a straight line. It evolves and changes shape over time.

“The early years were incredibly lonely,” she shared, “Holidays were hard. Father’s Day was hard. School events were hard.”

There were also countless milestones Jason never got to witness – teaching Drew to ride a bike, bedtime routines, Christmas mornings – all the ordinary moments that make a life suddenly carried extraordinary weight.

Yet even in the midst of grief, Michele remained determined that Drew would grow up understanding who his father was, not only in death, but in how he lived.

That desire eventually led Michele and Drew to the Gary Sinise Foundation through our Families of Fallen Heroes program. Over the years, that support continued to grow alongside their family. What began as childhood experiences filled with laughter and memories evolved into healing workshops, storytelling opportunities, speaking engagements, and lifelong friendships.

“That continued support has meant so much because our needs changed over time, and the Gary Sinise Foundation changed with us,” she said, “This wasn’t temporary support. It has spanned decades.”

For Drew, those experiences created connection and identity. Being surrounded by other children who understood life after loss helped him realize he was never alone in his grief.

For Michele, the Foundation became a place where she no longer had to explain the weight she carried.

Michele, Drew, and Gary at the Memorial Day Parade, 2022

“There’s sadness in realizing how many families share this kind of loss,” Michele said, “but there is also tremendous comfort in knowing you are not alone.”

16 years after Jason’s passing, Michele and Drew traveled to Washington, D.C. with the Gary Sinise Foundation for Memorial Day events honoring our nation’s fallen heroes. The trip blended patriotism, healing, and remembrance.

Together, Michele and Drew visited Jason’s shared memorial monument at Arlington National Cemetery honoring the four men lost in the training accident.

“Standing there with Drew was one of the most tender moments we have ever shared,” Michele said. “We stood there together, cried together, and allowed ourselves to grieve together in a way we rarely do in everyday life.”

For Michele, that moment created space for something surviving families often struggle to allow themselves: the opportunity to fully acknowledge the grief they still carry.

“That moment was incredibly healing, and it is a memory I will always treasure,” she said.

Today, twenty years after Jason’s death, Michele continues to carry both grief and gratitude with her. Memorial Day remains emotional, but it is also a reminder that Jason’s life, and the lives of so many others, continue to matter.

Michele and Drew in Washington, D.C., 2022

“I never want Jason reduced to simply the tragedy of how he died,” Michele shared, “I want people to know how he lived.”

She wants people to remember his faith, his adventurous spirit, his humor, his patriotism, and the incredible man behind the uniform.

And she hopes people remember something else, too: that behind every fallen hero is a family whose journey continues long after Memorial Day has passed.

“Enjoy your families. Celebrate freedom. Have the barbeque. Laugh. Rest. Make memories,” Michele said, “But also remember why that freedom exists.”

At the Gary Sinise Foundation, we remain committed to honoring our nation’s fallen and supporting the families they leave behind, not just in moments of tragedy, but for the years and decades that follow. Because honoring our fallen heroes also means standing beside the families who continue to carry their memory forward. Learn more about the work we are doing to support Families of Fallen Heroes, and donate now to become a part of the mission this Memorial Day.